Controlling Our Emotions As Muslimahs
Embrace Your Emotions, Control Your Actions
Fact: Allah (Subhanahu wa Taala) made women sensitive and emotional by nature. Whether we like it or not or choose to admit
it, a woman can go through so many intense emotional highs and lows in one day
that by the day’s end she is left feeling weary and mentally drained because
every emotion we experience has a physical and psychological reaction.
How do we
deal with this?
Well, I’ve
come up with a little acronym that just might help us in shaa Allaah; R.A.C.E
Recognize Your Emotions
Whenever we get emotional, pause and recognize
that this is who we are by nature.
Beware! The simplest event may trigger an emotional biological response
that will cause our mood to involuntarily and spontaneously transform! It may be a whisper from the shayateen, hearing
an idle or disrespectful comment, receiving a confusing email or dealing with someone
who has a bad attitude and loves confrontation on a daily basis. Practicing awareness of the source of these
changes in emotion will allow us to respond a way that Allah (Subhanahu wa
Taala) loves.
Accept Your Emotions
Simply
accept and acknowledge the fact that this is the way our Creator and Master
Allah (Subhanahu wa Taala) designed us.
Our emotions make us beautiful, nurturing, caring and sensitive human
beings.
They make us
intuitive, loving wives, mothers and friends.
However, we must also accept that emotions are our test. For instance, it’s very important to learn
how to recognize, accept and deal with jealousy, especially in a polygamous
marriage. How deeply and intensely we
love our husbands should pale in comparison to our love and devotion to Al Noor
(The Light).
It may help us as women to remember this hadith. While it may be hard to accept because we
love to love with deepest devotion, our beloved Prophet (PBUH ) cautions us
with good reason to love in moderation: Allah’s
Messenger (Sallallahu alayhi wa
sallam) said:“Love the
one whom you love to a certain degree (moderately), perhaps one day he will be
someone for whom you have hatred, and hate the one for whom you have hatred to
a certain degree (moderately), perhaps one day he will be one whom you love.”
– Hadith – at-Tirmidhee (no. 1997) .
Conversely,
all of our reckless and undying love should only be toward Allah (Subhanahu wa
Taala), Al-Wadud (The Loving One):
“Say (O
Muhammad SAW): “Verily, my Salât (prayer), my sacrifice, my living, and my
dying are for Allâh, the Lord of the ‘Alamîn (mankind, jinns and all that
exists).”” – Al-An’am (6):162
Control Your Emotions!
We may not
be able to control how we feel, but we can certainly control our actions and
what rolls off our tongue; our speech.
Al-hamdu lillaah, we will not be held accountable for our thoughts. Does anyone doubt the wisdom of Al Hakim
(The Perfectly Wise)? He knew what thoughts would go through our minds and what
we would love to do and say to that sister with the attitude that annoys
us. However, we will be held accountable
for our deeds. This is a serious matter,
especially for women, and applies not only to anger and jealousy, but gossip
and back-biting as well.
Embrace Your Emotions
This is my
personal jihad. Which of us loves being
overly emotional? Welling up with tears
for no apparent reason sometimes. Feeling
hurt and neglected by those we love, even though you may have spoken to them
just a day ago. Getting so angry that the veins on our neck pop up? It’s no
picnic!
Personally,
I’m annoyed at myself for not being able to stay angry for a long time, even
though I may have every right to be. It took me a long time to realize that
when I get upset, I express my opinion and then I go quiet. But when I get
really angry I can’t even form a sentence, can’t even utter a word. Mouth traps
shut. Ma shaa Allaah.
Rather, I distance myself from the situation
and wait until the anger subsides and I can think clearly again, before anything
comes out of my mouth.
This is
surely a mercy from Allah (SWT), because He knows that the kind of haraam
speech that would come spewing forth from my lips would make me go into a 21
day fast to make tauba for deliverance from sure hell fire! Allahu alam!
Now, I recognize that this is part of my nature,
and I have learned to embrace it and deal with it accordingly. May Allah (Subhanahu wa Taala) help us all to
find ways to deal with our emotions.
Remember as Muslimahs we need to be like an Oreo
cookie. The entire cookie is good, but
the inside is soft and sweet, while the outside is a little tougher and not
that easy to break. In other words we
need to develop a thicker skin so that we don’t let anything get to us inwardly
to the point where it would cause us to outwardly sin.
‘O
Allaah, You are my Lord, none has the right to be worshipped except You, You
created me and I am Your servant and I abide to Your covenant and promise as
best I can, I take refuge in You from the evil of which I committed. I acknowledge Your favour upon me and I acknowledge
my sin, so forgive me, for verily none can forgive sin except You.’ – Sayyid ul
Istigfar.
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Source: originally posted in: Blog.islamiconlineuniversity.com
